i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
