I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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