Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm like, not good at living.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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