I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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