I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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