I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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