he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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