Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
