I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
