My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
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