No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
