i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
