BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
