Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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