spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
