Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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