If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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