Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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