Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
