Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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