I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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