At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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