My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
