Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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