we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I think people are normalizing furries
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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