I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
