I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize