I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
