we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize