your parents love me but you hate me
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
