STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
