Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
