Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
