even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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