plz talk dirty to me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
