threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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