I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
