Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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