I accidentally had phone sex last night
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
