Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
