You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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