the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
