Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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