singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
