Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
