Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
