So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize