we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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