I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
