you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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