stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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