the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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