i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
