I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
