That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
