Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
