when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have already put on my inside pants.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
