and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
