So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Come on in and take your pants off
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