covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
