Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
