READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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