got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
