I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
