Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
