Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize